Service to make you pull your hair out

A while back I needed a half inch coarse threaded die on a Sunday. The good tool stores were all closed so I crossed my fingers and went into a big chain home improvement store. I wondered around the tool section for a few minutes with no luck before a guy in a vest asked if he could help me. Since he was stationed in the tool section I gave him the benifit of the doubt and told him what I needed.

"What color do you need?"

That stumped me for a second, since I didn't know it mattered. "Umm, steel grey? Stainless maybe, whatever you've got."

Now it was his turn to look confused, "Man, you really ought to try Bob over in the paint department. He knows more about that than I do."

"Can't you look in a computer or something and see if you have one?"

"If we do it will be in paints."

"But it's a tool."

"What's it do?"

"Cleans up bolt threads."

"You may have to try a chemical specialty store. Our dyes are more for staining wood. I'm not sure about one that stains less."

I really think I watched Hank Hill go through almost the same thing once.