Monday, November 30, 2009

Fighting the Good Fight, One Zombie at a Time

Keep Texas Zombie Free is back. Go give him some encouragement. Both of you.

Yeah, that was a good idea.

I think I'm going to completely rip off somebody else's book idea to make money. I think I'll pick a book that somebody clever and snarky wrote. And I think I'll pick a book that gained much of it's reputation by word of mouth over the internet. Then I'll try to sell my drivel over that very same internet and hope none of those people notice. To make it even more fun, I think I'll plagiarise an author who is familiar with machine guns.
Oh wait, somebody beat me to it.

Saturday, November 28, 2009

Weekend Menaces

As I've always suspected, Australia is a dangerous place, and I'm not talking about dingos stealing babies. I'm talking about marsupials. I knew they had pouches, didn't know they were amphibious.

Earlier this week a kangaroo tried to drown a man and his dog.

But the marsupials have menaces of their own, in a man-bites-dog turn on the first story, a few months ago a man saved a kangaroo from sharks.

Last year a snake was filmed trying to swallow a wallaby whole. What's more menacing than something that menaces a menace? Having the menace on the same continent. There's kangaroo roaming New York state.

I don't really know what it takes to stop a rampaging marsupial, but if they get any closer I'm betting a .45-70 will be enough.

Thursday, November 26, 2009

Happy Thanksgiving

I hope everybody eats well and stays safe.

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Narrow Horizons

This man was able to come up with names for 36 different firearms. I'm impressed that he was able to do so, but a little disappointed at the narrow scope of his collection. No 1911, no bolt guns, no lever guns, no revolvers. A strong preference for commie and German stuff. This is a man who probably has the day of the week written on the tag of his underwear.

For the record, I've only named one of mine, and I can't even pronounce it.

Hat tip to Sharp as a Marble

Monday, November 23, 2009


This new Kel-Tec PMR-30? The 30 shot .22 magnum pistol? The one everybody has been mentioning? Painfully ugly or not, I want one. If it turns out to be reliable and semi-accurate, I want two or three more. Even though it's not a big heavy bullet of the type I usually speak of, I'm a big fan of the .22WMR.

Sunday, November 22, 2009

Sunday Headlines

Is any Kennedy Ready For a Senate Seat?

The answer is the same as it's been for five decades. Ready to inflate their own egos and sense of importance? Sure, they're Kennedys. Ready to help the nation? No.

Bishop bars Patrick Kennedy from Communion over abortion

As if he is able to set foot on holy ground.

British hostages say pirates will kill them

Wait, surely this can't be true. Pirates killing somebody? Unheard of.

Saturday, November 21, 2009

How screwed up can people be?

There have been a lot of stories in the news lately that upset me. People doing horrible things to children. People allowing horrible things to happen to their own children. People who just plain need to be taken out back and shot, even though it is too good for them, just because it's the fastest way to stop them from breathing the same air as good people. Even kids so screwed up that they deserve to meet the same fate as adults for the things they've done.

What the hell is wrong with people? How can anybody hurt a helpless child that way? How come nobody stopped it? Some of these crimes could not have happened without somebody ignoring what was going on. How are those guilty bystanders able to live with themselves?

This stuff makes me sick to my stomach. I have a young niece. I have friends with kids. I have young cousins. I would shoot somebody, run them over with my truck, pull them to pieces with my bare hands, whatever it took, to keep a kid safe from such evil. I'm not the only one who feels this way. I'm guessing there are many others out there who agree. So how does this happen? What kind of defect to these people have, and why was there nobody willing to protect those poor kids?


As part of my ongoing quest to identify menaces, I found out that Peruvian gangs kidnap and murder people for their fat. No fooling. Apparently it's been sort of a boogie man myth for centuries, but now with a basis in fact.

There's a lot to learn from this, not the least of which is to stay the hell away from third world jungles. Mostly though, keep a means to defend yourself handy, practice with it, and be prepared to use it. Because you do not want your bodily remains going into a lotion bottle.

Weekend Menaces

Joe Namath's dogs have now been officially declared menaces, by law.

Pirates are still in the news, still needing to be shot. I wonder how much being a pirate gaurd pays?

Friday, November 20, 2009

Friday Night Music

How about if this week I let Ray Wyle Hubbard tell it like it is? Here he is with "Screw You, We're From Texas"

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Good Week

First, young Davey Crocket shot the bear in Idaho. Now the security team of the Maersk Alabama has repelled an attack by Somali pirates. If the ship sounds familiar, it's because the same ship was taken seven months ago. It seems the ship's owners have learned a few things since then. Who'd have ever thought guns might help with that? Not this guy:

However, Roger Middleton, a piracy expert at the London-based think tank Chatham House, said the international maritime community was still "solidly against" armed guards aboard vessels at sea, but that American ships have taken a different line than the rest of the international community.

"Shipping companies are still pretty much overwhelmingly opposed to the idea of armed guards," Middleton said. "Lots of private security companies employee people who don't have maritime experience. Also, there's the idea that it's the responsibility of states and navies to provide security. I would think it's a step backward if we start privatizing security of the shipping trade."

Basically, guns are bad, only the government should protect us. I know this guy isn't my countryman, and there is a reason for that. Still, his statement ticks me off on more than one level. Why the hell am I or any other American supposed to care what the hell the international community thinks about anything? I don't care what they think about guns. I've got a whole mess of 'em, with more on the way. I don't care what they think about global warming. Next time we have a real cold morning, I'm going to go out and start both of my three quarter ton diesel pick-ups and let them both warm up, just in case I decide to drive the other one that day. I may take a long shower while they warm up, because this is still a free country and I can do whatever the hell I can afford. I don't really give a flip what they think about anything, right up until they decide to impose what they think upon me. Then we're back to that first issue.

Expecting the states and navies to provide security? I'm real proud of the job our Navy did retaking the Alabama the first time around. The training that those sharpshooters went through was one rare instance of my tax dollars being spent on something I approve. But it's a big damn ocean out there, and there are only so many destroyers to go around. Fighting pirates on the high seas is like trying to hold the wind up with a sail. Stephen By-God Decatur demonstrated how to shut pirates down a couple hundred years ago. You've got to root them out like a wisteria vine, or else the vines just keep growing wherever you're not. The navy's hands are tied until one of those states that Middleton is so proud of decides to let them take care of things. Self defense is a fundamental human right. It can not wait on the convenience of a government. If the international maritime community doesn't believe that then that's just too bad.

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Killed him a b'ar when he was only eleven..

Take notes folks, this is how you deal with a menace. I see this kid making it far in life.

Politics of Peace

First, under the Obama administration, we bombed the moon.

Now, Chavez and Castro are getting together to bomb clouds.

I thought the commies, err, I mean lefties, were all about peace?

Monday, November 16, 2009

This Week's James Butler Bonham Award for Nerve

Goes to a man in Missouri City.

Holy cow. The burglars had the drop on him, at 3 in the afternoon, and he managed to turn the tables on them. Once again, keep 'em handy. Handy means ready to shoot, this man wouldn't have pulled it off if he had had to unlock, find the magazine, and then load.

My hat is off to him

Hat tip to Lft(u)TGC

How does this make sense?

Isn't this about the same thing as using the master card to pay off the visa card?

I'm all for keeping debt low, and I'm all for spending less. But this is the same sort of fiscal responsibility I see in folks living in trailers with big screen televisions, which they have to find a way to move every time they get kicked out of one trailer park for not paying the rent.

Saturday, November 14, 2009

Weekend Menaces

There's been a lot of news lately about swine flu. Personally, I think the dirty swine are more likely to eat me than infect me. Class, this is why we keep our .45-70s handy.

I've had my own experiences along those lines. When they're in smelling distance and closing fast, a scoped bolt rifle just isn't the best way to get a hit.

Friday, November 13, 2009

Friday Night Music

I'm not much of a basketball fan, but apparently the 2008 Final Four would have been worth going to just for the Robert Earl Keen concert. So how about we keep it in Texas and listen to the man sing Corpus Christi Bay, Levelland, and Amarillo Highway(with Lubbock mentioned for good measure)?

Thursday, November 12, 2009

Book Review: The Cold Dish

A few times a year, I find myself in Dallas for some reason or another. Leaving fever sets in simultaneously with my arrival. Same goes for San Antonio or Austin. Heck, if the town I live in gets much bigger I'm leaving. So while Lucas Davenport or Spenser are entertaining, Minneapolis and Boston just aren't very easy for me to identify with. On top of that, it gets a little tiring reading about how great the handsome hero is, with all the problems he has beating beautiful women back with a stick. I tried reading James Lee Burke's Billy Bob Holland novels, set in Texas, but grew frustrated with his floating town that was only an hour's drive from any place else in the state and a hero who wouldn't shoot the bastard, no matter how much he needed shooting. The books were readable, but only if you overlook the cartoonish portrayal of my state(I couldn't).

So I picked up Craig Johnson's The Cold Dish ready for more of the same. I was wrong though. Both Sheriff Walt Longmire and Absaroka County, Wyoming were easy to identify with. Walt is not handsome, drives a three quarter ton pick up, and lives in conditions that are less than spotless. Ok Craig, I'm with you so far. I've only been to Wyoming once, but the book's depiction gets the approval of this non-resident. Probably because Johnson lives there (not that that helped Burke). Authentic and likable location? Check. Identifiable protagonist? Check.

Something to make me pick the book up, out of all the others in the store, and buy it? Check. Right there on the cover, there's a man in a sheepskin coat holding a Sharps. Read the back cover, and right there in black and white, "Or will the only thing that stands between them and a Sharps .45-70 buffalo rifle be Sheriff Walt Longmire?" That's right, this book has the coolest buffalo gun action since Quigley Down Under. Not to ruin things, but there are actually two, count 'em two 45-70's involved in the showdown.

I give it four hundred grains, out of a possible four-fifty.

UPDATE: I realize that one of Burke's novels included a Sharps, but it still wasn't as good as The Cold Dish. One of these days I'll read his New Orleans novels. The man can write some dialogue, and I think I'd like it if I wasn't culturally offended.

Also, Sandford's Virgil Flowers novels, the ones that don't take place mostly in Minneapolis, are top notch stuff.

Wednesday, November 11, 2009


Today is Veteran's Day. The proper statement is not "Happy Veteran's Day," it's "Thank you." If any vets happen to run across this blog, thank you for your service.

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

The few, the proud

Happy Birthday Marine Corp.

Saturday, November 7, 2009

Weekend Menaces

I think it is pretty clear what menace is posed by those with the authority to prevent American citizens from having access to the means to defend themselves.

The menace of those who ignore obvious warning signs can not be ignored.

The greatest menace, though, is posed by psychopaths.

My thoughts and prayers are with those in Fort Hood.

Friday, November 6, 2009

Friday Night Music

If there's a band out there as Talented as Reckless Kelly, it's because the other two Braun brothers are in Mickey and the Motorcars. I had decided on Mickey and the Motorcars this week, and that's how I found this cover of my favorite Warren Zevon song. Presented for your enjoyment, here's Lawyers, Guns, and Money.

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Hell in a Handbasket

Outside of Stephen F. Austin and the Old 300, Texas was originally settled mostly by belligerent people who showed up looking for a reason to tell a government to go to Hell. Given a little time and some help from God and Sam Houston, they eventually did so at San Jacinto. Texas Government up until then could best be described as quarrelsome. The politicians spent much of their time drunk or fighting duels with one another that. Other than Stephen F. Austin, who truly did what was in the best interest of Texas, they didn't get much done at all. It was a golden age for government, and a model all others should follow. After San Jacinto, the story of the politics in the Republic of Texas could be summed up as "Sam served his term as president, cut spending and the deficit. Then somebody else served, spending and deficit rose with ambitious government programs. Sam was again eligible for president, the process was repeated."

Texas entered the union on December 29, 1845. The agreement stipulated that the feds would protect Texas' border, and that if the partnership proved unsatisfactory, Texas could secede. Washington sent infantry troops to protect Texas' vast frontier from the most effective horseback raiders this side of outer Mongolia, the Comanches. That tactic worked about as well as you'd expect. The folks in D.C. also refused to acknowledge the ongoing banditry along the Rio Grande. To maintain any security, it was necessary to keep the Rangers patrolling on horseback, usually against the wishes of the federal government, who felt that a state controlled military force was a threat. Because of this and other factors, including the legacy of a belligerent people looking for a reason to tell a government to go to Hell, Texas exercised her right to secede. Many Texans were against succession, but once the die was cast, they stood by Texas. James Throckmorton was among the most notable of these.

I think we remember how that turned out.

Afterwards, Texans elected Throckmorton as governor. He went forward with attempts to rebuild his state. Due to a desire to punish the rebels, General Charles Griffin persuaded Phil Sheridan to replace Throckmorton with E. M. Pease. In a tough situation, Pease managed to make everybody mad, and resigned. We wound up with Edmund Davis, who abused his powers by institutionalizing his opponents, denying First Amendment rights to newspapers who reported what he disliked, and denying the vote to those he disliked. He's also known for raising property taxes to unheard of levels, and spending the public funds as if there were no tomorrow. He was empowered to do this by the occupying federal troops. Even though Texas had been largely untouched by the war, Pease managed to drag reconstruction out long after it was necessary, and even called on federal aid to keep him in office after he lost re-election.

All of these things lead to the State Constitution of 1876. It's one of the longest state constitutions, and the document's main theme is to LIMIT GOVERNMENT POWER. It's the reason our legislature meets every other year. It's why our governor's powers are limited. It's what prohibits statewide property taxes.

And so, in memory of all the trials and tribulations that our forefathers went through, last night, WE VOTED IN FAVOR OF ALL ELEVEN AMENDMENTS TO THIS CONSTITUTION. WHO THE HELL ARE THESE PEOPLE THAT ARE VOTING IN MY STATE? A couple of the amendments were good things. Some weren't.

I'm not sure why I've said all this, except, maybe, so that my point will be understood when I say this, to all Texas voters who have moved here from failing states.

There's a reason that California, New York, and Illinois are failing. There's a reason you've left those places. It all started at the ballot box. If you want to be governed the way you were back home, may I suggest that you move back? Don't make the same mistakes here.

Monday, November 2, 2009


I'd heard some interesting things lately about Debra Medina that I had to check out for myself. The first place I looked came across in a misleading manner, stating that she stressed the importance of gun control. Even though that makes her sound like a Brady Buncher, the truth is she is more of a gun-control-means-using-both-hands type. She's for the importance of gun control as strictly laid out in the Constitution. She's also for states demanding the sovereignty guaranteed by the Tenth Amendment. And for restoring property rights to individuals.

Right now, my preference would be for her to win, with Perry coming in second and Kay Bailey nowhere to be found.

It just seems odd

Last week I went to get my grand dad's barn ready to paint. It seems that he and my great-uncle have wound up with a pet pheasant. Neither one of them knows where it came from. I've never heard of such a thing, but it seems healthy and friendly.

Here she is when she first walked up after my arrival, surprising the heck out of me.

And here she is hanging out on the roof of the barn with me. I think she's curious, if birds can be curious.

Sunday, November 1, 2009

New Additions

Something from the Wish List is on its way. Stay tuned for details...