Seriously

As part of my ongoing quest to identify menaces, I found out that Peruvian gangs kidnap and murder people for their fat. No fooling. Apparently it's been sort of a boogie man myth for centuries, but now with a basis in fact.

There's a lot to learn from this, not the least of which is to stay the hell away from third world jungles. Mostly though, keep a means to defend yourself handy, practice with it, and be prepared to use it. Because you do not want your bodily remains going into a lotion bottle.