Thursday, February 11, 2010

Going Green

Uncle saw the same commercial as Mad Ogre, and he didn't like it either.

The commercial should have ended with a guy in a big ass Ford Earthf----r that gets 5 miles per gallon with seats made from baby seals blowing past the roadblock billowing smoke. And, for effect, the driver flips them off. I’d buy that car. Not this little compliant pansy car. You appeal to Americans in an ad by showing rebellion and general orneriness. Not passiveness, compliance, or sheepishness.


It didn't take long before reports of this beast started coming in from the wild.

Being an outdoorsy type, I decided to share some of my experience with the creature, performing its namesake act.


Here we have one preparing to burn a lot of diesel. To produce even more hippy tears, the boomlift could have been left running on the trailer.


This is a good example of the Ford EarthF---er upsetting the natural preferences of hippies, not only by directly burning diesel and producing stuff to float up into the atmosphere, but also by providing 20,000 pounds of concrete to replace some of Mother Earth's grass and dirt, all just to put up a fence to prevent our animal friends from roaming as their natures intended. Notice the gray clouds, Gaia was sad.


Here we have a pair of the creatures actually making Mother Earth cry and fight back. Not only were they creating hazardous emissions, but they were also involved in the process of using our peaceful bovine friends for non-vegetarian purposes. To make matters even worse, they were subjugating our equine and canine brothers to accomplish their vile deeds.


As you can see, Mother Earth tried to ensnare the more distant Ford to prevent this tearful act. She came close, but was unsuccessful when the Fords brought in back up in the form of a John Deere EvironmentDespoiler.

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